Mischa by Edward Belamy 2010  


                    The Covent Garden

                 Networking Experience






The perfect Working Wife!



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1.  Sexbots are no longer fantasy and wishful longing on the part of frustrated men. USA tech company Abyss Creations has built a range of silicone sex dolls which look, move and speak like real women. These dolls can be custom made in appearance and fully customised even to the extent of their personality traits including happy, shy, sensual, funny, jealous, moody and talkative.

They even have an intellectual setting. “The AI will learn through interaction, and not just learn about you, but learn about the world in general," RealDolls creator, Matt McMullen, told The Guardian

2.  Stepford Wives now comes near to reality as another firm vies for a slice of the market and is developing the Wifebot. As a long suffering husband, Robert has been approached to assist in the development of a Wifebot – the perfect working wife.

In recognition and acknowledgement for his contribution to this model, this edition will be known as RoBoBo.

3.  Model Wife  Modelled on his 24 year old bride, and lacking a deep, DNA pre programmed passion for all things chocolate, RoBoBo perennially maintains her size 10/12 dress size, waist length hair and zest for all things youthful. With an operating temperature range far exceeding the 53° latitude English climate, RoBoBo can sport a bikini any day of the year.

Puzzled by the programmers inclusion of the personality trait of ‘Talkative’, an option which in his opinion and after 40 years of marriage only a lunatic would plump for, Robert recommends a default response for all his questions, statements, opinions etc., of “Yes Robert”.

4.  Memory. Like her human counterpart, RoBoBo forgets nothing. However, with her in built Inself Petulant Processor and Infinity Auto Upgrade Hard Drive, RoBoBo is able to assimilate, organise, remember and recall everything to a timely nanosecond. Robert believes this enhanced feature will be especially useful at pub quizzes. Additionally, it will be beneficial at work where previously her colleagues emails demanding stationery may have dipped below the InBox horizon and languished in the email ether.

5.  A Good Sport As a working wife, RoBoBo will be conveniently at work while her master plays golf, bowls, is away with the ‘lads’ at rugby matches or while the cricket, football, snooker is on the telly. Please note this list is not exhaustive.

At all other times RoBoBo will be attentive to her master and will carry out all ‘women’s work’ and such of those items of ‘men’s work’ as are delegated to her. Basically everything except motor mechanics.

6. Price. Although the initial cost of RoBoBo may seem expensive and 25 million Bitcoins, the running costs are low and Robert will soon see savings in the first few months especially if he also invests in the latest 3D printing technology. Robert will never again have to traipse around Marks and Spencer in the search for a new outfit for his companion. RoBoBo will self initiate internet shopping sessions, download the 'Micro Clothes' software and 3D print them at home. The ‘Micro Clothes’ was a pre-programmed option Robert chose. RoBoBo will never need to visit the Spa, hair dresser or beautician.

7. RoBoRob   As for the real Bo, the future including AI also looks rosy. Supplanted by her AI counterpart, Bo is free to walk off into the sunset with RoBoRob the super human companion who is programmed to please and features an enhanced ‘lets talk’ option. As a high end intellectual model, RoBoRob can discuss an endless range of subjects from Quantum physics to the Archers. Together they relocate to the European continent where her pittance of a pension will be sufficient to provide sustenance for Bo and WD40 for RoBoRob.

8.  Self Sufficient  Living in a stone cottage on a small holding close to the Mediterranean sea RoBoRob manages the vegetable garden, geese, ducks, goats and vineyard and produces sufficient produce to create a surplus to fund chocolate acquisition.

9.  Optional Extras  RoBoRob comes with a tool box of bolt on additional extras such as the plastic surgery kit which includes Botox, filler and the latest silicon replacement surfacing technology. As years pass AI intervention leaves Bo rivalling her 24 year old self.

10. Mortality and AI     Humans remain mortals and as companions in an pre AI life, Robert and Bo reached an accord that once they both leave this eternal coil, provisions should be made for RoBoBo and RoBoRob to inherit the Cottage on the Med and live together for eternity in A1 bliss.

© Bo Nightingale 19 June 2017



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